I've just had one of the happiest months of my life and now it's suddenly morfed into another melancholy mess. As it turns out, I should exuberantly be announcing my pregnancy, as I am currently approx. 10 weeks along. However, yesterday it was confirmed that this pregnancy will not continue! Sorta confusing to me because I am pregnant, I feel pregnant in every sense of the way, and by gosh, I am even starting to look pregnant... but there will be no baby. It all started a few weeks back when I went in for my first u/s check going on 7 weeks. At that appointment, a gestational sac appeared but there was no fetal pole (baby) or heartbeat. My OB really didn't think much of it because he said that it maybe just too early to be detected... that in many cases these don't show up till at least 8 weeks. So I was scheduled to come back for another check this week at 9 weeks. I went in on Monday the 8th, to have my u/s, which just so happened to be exactly 1 year since we had and lost our Amelia. Not a good day :( The u/s again showed no baby, only a larger gestational sac. I went to the hospital and had my blood drawn again to check the Hcg levels and the numbers indicated were very good, which was confusing, so he had me wait until yesterday (Thursday) to come back in and check once more. This time, my Hcg levels started to decrease and of course when he did another u/s... no baby again. I have what is referred to as a "Blighted Ovum", a miscarriage that is fairly common in pregnancies. It just wasn't meant to be... even though still very frustrating and heartbreaking for us.
I will be going into the hopital on Tuesday for a D&C. It really sucks knowing that for now I am pregnant and had all the hopes dreams and possibilities of having a baby this January, and after Tuesday, that will all be out the window... again. But, for now we are doing okay, and as I've told some others, this pales in comparison to what we've already gone through the past 4 years... although it still stings! I refuse to let this defeat me. We will one day reach that glorified finish line with our baby in our arms. My faith is not broken, and I truly believe this!
Just wanted to close out this post with a scrapbook page that I made soon after we found out that we pregnant this time. It will still be included in our family scrapbook...
33 comments:
Andrea I want you to know that you are in a good place, I sense that and I know it hurts. I am sure that it just really stinks and it is hard. I cannot imagine.
But I want you to know that you have more strength than anyone I know, and even though I've never met you I can honestly see and sense that strength! You are incredible!
Also, every single one of my prayer chicks answered me back and are very concerned and are still going to be praying for the desires of your heart.
I pray for you friend and also for Mugi...
Andrea, I am so sorry. What a roller coaster getting your hopes up and up again. I rally hope that something good comes your way.
I love the layout.
Oh Andrea, I'm so sorry to hear this. What a terrible time you have had. I'm glad you are staying strong and not giving up hope.
hugs,
Dani
I am sure that it must suck! I agree with Elizabeth about you having strength! Hugs to you! The layout is pretty
Oh, Andrea, I'm so sorry. My prayers will be with you. Your strength really is inspirational. I pray that your journey doesn't last much longer...
i am sending huge hugs your way. i am thinking of you and sending lots of prayers for you guys! {{hugs}}
I am sorry. I wish for good things for you. Linda
Andrea, just want you to know that I am praying hard that one day, in His time, He will send the perfect child to you to hold in your arms and raise!
Andrea, i am so very sorry :( you are in my prayers ...hugs!
Andrea,
I am so very sorry. Sending hugs and prayers your way.
Oh sweetie! I'm so sorry! I will keep you & your family in my prayers.
Oh Andrea,
I am so sorry to hear this.
My first loss was a blighted ovum- it was one of the worst things I have gone through-extremely traumatizing. You are in my thoughts and prayers, you are such a strong woman, I am so sorry.
xxxxoooo Meghan
sweetie... I simply have no words..
just want to hug you tight.
please take good care of yourself and mugi!
you are in my thoughts!
Andrea, I am so sorry. You're in my thoughts. (hugs)
Oh my sweet, my heart goes out to you. You are so strong and I know soon God will bless you with your precious one here on earth. I think of you often. And your layout is beautiful.
Hugs!!!
OH honey I am so sorry. I can not imagine what you have been through. I just don't know what else to say.......
Andrea! I had no idea hun! I love your outlook on your situation and I say never do give up on it. I had a friend that was told she could never have kids - went on fertility - got pregnant with twins - miscarried - decided to wait a couple years before trying again and literally 3 months later she found out she was pregnant with twins - NATURALLY! I firmly believe God has plans for us all when it's our time. Yours is coming, I know it. I'm wrapping my arms around you in a big cyber hug and will certainly keep you in my prayers! lotsa love ♥♥
Andrea,
I have been there, unfortunately 3 times. Two prior to my daughter and one ectopic about a year ago. It absolutely sucks to be in one mind set and have everything change in the blink of an eye. My heart and thoughts are with you.
Lori
I'm so sorry, Andrea! hugs to you!!
I am so, so sorry Andrea. :(
I am so sorry to hear this Andrea, my thoughts and prayers are with you!
Keep your faith going, it will happen for you, I know it will!
OH sweetie.. I just don't know what to say... I'm so so so sorry to hear this.
Thinking of you! HUGS!!!!!
Andrea, I am just so stunned to be reading this. You are seriously stronger than a wrong which only leads to make me believe that you must be leaning on THE rock.
I'm so, so, very sorry. I can't even imagine hearing this kind of news...again.
When I went through a real rough time that doesn't even remotely come close to what you've been through, I read this book called, 'When God Doesn't Make Sense.' It's by Dr. Dobson and it is soooo good!!
Keep believing. I will keep praying.
{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}
Julie
you have more strength than anyone i have met before. i wish i could do more than what i am doing. maybe we a friday night scrap-a-thon at the scrpbook lady? what about the 17th? or the friday after that? let me know.
i loved to meet you and give you a big hug!
okay sounds good. we have a wine festival in NY the weekend of the 17th. i forgot, would the 24th be okay?
sweetie I am so sorry.I have followed your ups and downs for a long time now and my heart aches with you each time. Stay strong,sweet girl. Hugs
Ohhhhhhh Andrea!!!! How I wish we lived closer, I would love to just throw my arms around you and give you the biggest hug, no words are ever good enough at times like this! Please know I think of you often and all the kindness you have showed me is appreciated so very much. Maybe I could put in a special word with my angel huh?? See what he can do.
Sending good karma and lots of love your way
~xx~
not sure what happened there??? anonymous above is me!!!
Dang it! Andrea, I am sad to hear this. This sounds like a similar thing that happened to me in 2007. I'm sad to hear about your loss but I too feel confident that one day you complete your family as you desire.
Huge hugs to you my friend.
Oh andrea, I am SO sorry to read this post! You guys have had so many devestating losses, and I truly admire your strength. I know you are right, though, and one day you will be holding that sweet baby in your arms! Many many hugs, my friend!
Oh Andrea! My heart goes out to you & your husband. Keep the faith & keep trying. God WILL reward you for believing in Him & I know you do. You have endured many trying times. I pray that you don't have to endure any more.
Oh Andrea, I am so sorry this happened! You truly are one strong amazing girl, and I could just hear that strength in your words. I know that it will happen for you guys and when it does, I know you will be one heck of a mother, you already are! I am praying for you my friend.
(((BIG HUGS TO YOU)))
Just read this, sorry to hear this...sending HUGE prayers your way!
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