Plagued By Would'ves and Should'ves!

It seems like it's constant for me.  Today, November 7th, happens to be another anniversary dated on the calendar... another one of those "dreaded" anniversaries that I need to recall now with unease.  One of those days where I sit here and think to myself, "Yes, today she should've been here celebrating her 1st Birthday... if only she would've been born around her exact due-date.  I should've had a cake ready for her to smash to smithereens, lol!   I would've thrown her the most girly pink party that I could!  It just  makes it all the more difficult to loose a baby prematurely, because not only do I grieve the day she came and left us early, but I also suffer through the day she should've been born.  And then of course I go through these anniversaries with Ava too... and our first baby as well.  I don't know if this ever gets easier, but I assume it doesn't.  I just know that I will get through these moments of complete sadness and helplessness. I have to.  The "would'ves and should've's"... they are all a part of me now.  All I can say is today hasn't been the best day for me... it's hard to celebrate my beautiful angel, Amelia through all my tears.  I would give anything to be holding my Amelia today on her Birthday, but I know who's arms she's in now... and that's a good thing!  I didn't mean for this post to be a Debbie-Downer, it's just that well, today these feelings I have just can't escape me... please understand! 

Okay, onto the rest of my day... hmmm, what have I been up to?  Besides, freezing?!  Yes, it is rather frigid!  I even have a little space heater placed in front of me trying to help keep me warm.  It's not even December yet, and I'm already cryin' over the cold.  Lord, help me!  I've been tryin' to scrap today... even linked up most of my carts to my Gypsy finally, so I've been playin' around with that some too.  Earlier this week I was busy  creating card designs and I made several to submit to the April 2010 call for CARDS magazine.  Soo, I really hope I have something to toot about in the coming days, because I'd really love for CARDS to pick up some more of my designs! I have really loved card-making lately, and have actually been doing more with cards than with scrapping.   And while on the subject of cards, I just bought the most awesome new punch the other week and I've used it a TON on my cards, on my pages...everything!  Here it is...
 

It's the large scallop with embossed edges border punch from EK Success!  I am totally head over heels for this tool, and if you don't already have one and you are a scallop lover, you MUST go get yourself one!  Like NOW!  Yes, I am enabling you all... you have my permission.  Here's a peek at one of the cards I did using it, but it's not a very good shot because I see it doesn't really show off the embossing on it all too well, but it does have a cool embossed edge on the scalloping...

ETA: I know this was only a sneak peek, but it happens to be for the card that was just requested for the April 2010 issue of CARDS magazine... Yay!!

I just can't say enough about my new favorite punch!  It just makes me happy to finally be able to punch out cute quick scallops! 

Ok, in my last post I showed you all a sneak peek of a page that I was working on using Webster's Pages for the very first time... remember this?

Well, I finished it up!  I must say, I really loved working with these papers (even if they are older Webster's papers) and I'll certainly be on the look out for more now!

Here are some more detail shots with the journaling... and remember you can click on the photos to enlarge them...

Thanks so much for looking and for visiting my blog... I always appreciate it :) 

Much love to you all!